Weddings make people crazy.
This is a mantra my bridesmaid is constantly reminding me of. We’re used to thinking of ourselves as going bonkers — hence, Bridezilla — or our moms acting up — think, Momzilla — but what about our friends?
“Bridesmaids” — a very funny, occasionally raunchy movie — centers on this idea. Maya Rudolph is getting married, and her best friend Kristen Wiig loses it.
So when Wiig, the maid of honor, flips at the bridal shower — toppling giant cookies, Champagne-laden tables and exhausting herself trying to fell a chocolate fountain — Rudolph, who has spent the entire movie explaining away her friend’s bad behavior, flips right back.
“Why can’t you just be happy for me and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?” She screams. Man, do I feel that.
Sadly, a few of my friends have acted, well, less than perfect.
My one friend has decided he has to stand up for my ex-boyfriend — for the first time in three years — another has done nothing but sulk. Still more of them have all but vanished as if being engaged makes me “other.”
But I’ve realized a couple of things. A) My friends are not the happiest. B) I have not been the happiest. And there is a possibility that it’s too hard for them to be happy for me. Too hard even to fake it. Which stinks, but what can I do?
My life is changing, and I will not apologize for that.
But maybe that’s me letting myself off the hook — maybe that’s like saying they’re probably just being mean because I’m too pretty (“Things we say to comfort ourselves for $400, Alex.”) I don’t know.
I do know, though, that getting married means my relationships are changing. My relationship to Joel, of course, will change, so will the one with my parents and sisters; but, yes, to my friends. And that causes strain.
Some friendships won’t make it.
My friend who doesn’t want to come to the wedding — because I was quote “malicious” to dump my ex — can stay at home.
My pouty friends, well, will probably make it. You know, once the wedding madness has passed.
And my closest friends, like my AWOL girls, just need some TLC, I think. I’m pretty sure they’re busy, I’m insanely busy — and I hope I will have some more time soon. Or that’s I’ll adjust. Or we’ll adjust.
This is a fun place to pretend otherwise, but life hasn’t stopped. It does not revolve around me either. Sigh.
So I keep working to keep up with my friends’ lives — and even accept criticism from one of my best friends who says I’m never around.
Wiig, in “Bridesmaids” yells that at the bride — that she’s never around.
We brides have a lot going on.
But I swear I’m trying.