I opted for a thin, gold ring to pair with my engagement diamond.
I found my wedding band on etsy.com, my favorite website. A kind of online art fair, it brings together artists from around the world.
My ring is less than 1 mm thick. It is thin and light; I really love it.
I needed it to be plain gold — without stones or engraving — because that’s what is required under Jewish law. What cracked me up, though, was when our rabbi held my ring up to our witnesses for inspection. He asked them if it was of requisite value — I forget the amount, something tiny like a $1. And our witnesses leaned in.
I loved that. They were wondering if such a small ring was worth enough. Yep. I did go easy on Joel, though. My ring cost $50. His ring cost $300. With gold trading at more than $1,700 per ounce, that is no surprise. I suppose, for that reason, it would make sense to use an antique ring. My grandmother offered, but she has always favored chunky jewelry. Somehow, it just didn’t fit.
My handmade ring made from recycled gold is much more me — similarly, Joel’s ring from his favorite store ever (Kmart) is perfect for him.
I loved watching the ring on his finger the morning after our wedding: Like me, Joel tells stories with his hands. I watched in fascination as he told me stories about the friends he had danced with, the guests he had greeted, the people who had surprised him, all the while his ring jumping with every gesture.
It was a sight to behold.
As for me, I showed my new ring to a co-worker and he said “that should keep the wolves away.” I thought, yeah. That is the point. I pushed for Joel to wear a ring although he was not a fan at first.
“I don’t want to wear jewelry,” he said. I heard that. I rejected that real fast.
“It’s not jewelry, it’s a wedding ring,” I insisted.
It’s not that I think wedding rings have any magical properties. I would be good money that Eliot Spitzer kept more than his socks on when he cheated. The so-called anti-cheating ring sold leaves an imprint on the wear’s finger that says “I’m married,” but who’s going to buy that? And then there’s Tony Parker, who told Eva Longoria that he couldn’t wear a wedding ring while playing basketball, so she had one tattooed on his left finger. They were divorced three years later. He cheated on her. So much for that.
The ring may only be a symbol but it still *means* something. Let’s drive those wolves away. Joel is taken as much as I am.
Oh, and there’s a bonus. Joel’s ring makes a dinging sound when he bangs it against surfaces — metal, wooden, etc. Why does that matter? I don’t know. But he kept doing it after our wedding. He said he was going to start a band with another married man; they would tap their rings on a table. He said was just happy his ring *did* something. What a boy. I’m just happy mine’s pretty.
Subject: On your 9/1 blog. . .
Next month will be our 25th wedding anniversary. I STILL love the word "husband" and even more importantly, I STILL love my husband. He is absolutely my best friend and I am never happier than when I am with him, wherever that may be. Congratulations to you and Joel, may you both be as happy as we are!
Janet, of Cape May
Contact Arielle Landau: