Girl fight! You'd think that'd be enough to get the juices flowin' ... but then you watch Snooki and Angelina tussling on the floor of their Miami pad - the Dirty Pad, going by last week's episode - and no one would fault you if, instead of feeling titillation, you felt nausea, like Ronnie driving the Escalade when afflicted with OSS (Old Sandwich Syndrome).
It's the stuff of nightmares. Convenient, considering that's what Miami had become to Angelina by the end of tonight's episode. Look for a full recap tomorrow. For now, here are a few quick thoughts...
First observation: The opening credits list eight people. What's missing is the Everest-sized chip on Angelina's shoulder. Watching "Jersey Shore After Hours" as I'm typing, with Snooki, Vinny and Angelina on hand to relive the drama. (She's just said "boyfriend" eight times in the matter of 10 seconds to show how she's moved on. And yet her scowl tells a different story.)
That girl is bitter. But what, realistically did she expect from her Miami experience. I'm just surprised it took 10 episodes for her to pack up her bags and leave. Back in the first recap, I put the over/under at 5 for her lasting this season, so kudos to her for sticking it out twice as long. But jetting with just a week or so to go? Couldn't she have sucked it up a bit longer?
Snooks on a Manhunt: Wanted - Fist pumping, frolicking nympho. Smells good. Pays for meals. Likes Pickles.
Only Snooki could craft that personal, courtesy her Get-a-Guy Manifesto, crafted at the gelato shop to the frustration of her boss. Also, romantical.
And, when she finds a guy? The catalyst for Angelina's violent kiss-off to the house. Girl's got no luck... if Match.com turns her off, maybe it's time to give eHarmony a shot?
Jenni the Peacemaker: Let me get this straight... For weeks, Jenni couldn't bring herself to confront Sammi as she endured the ups and downs of Ronnieland. And yet as Angelina considers bailing on the house, she decides to offer a comforting shoulder? I know she said it was a matter of Angelina earning her stripes in the house and not having to leave, but ... this is the same woman who, after Angelina went after Pauly, wanted a piece of the Staten Island girl's hide to mount on her wall. Jenni is an Enigma. Might as well fit her for a tight-fitting Riddler costume. Maybe instead of J-Woww or K-Poww, it should be J-Huh?
That's all for now. Check back tomorrow late morning for a full recap, plus a few thoughts on "After Hours."
Welcome back to the "Jersey Shore" roller coaster. The season's coming to an end, but I'm betting there are still a few dips and turns to go...