Someone must have slipped something into Ryan Seacrest's low-fat mocha latte Tuesday night, as the American Idol host's behavior during Elvis Week was nothing short of bizarre.
First, Seacrest complemented this week's mentor - last season's runner up Adam Lambert - by telling the openly gay singer that he has a "talented" tongue.
Then Seacrest blatantly cheered for the struggling Andrew Garcia with an encouraging "Come on, buddy!" at the start of his performance.
Then Seacrest took a shot at his former American Idol co-host and current nomad, Brian Dunkleman, by saying Dunkleman would be hosting one of the two locations for next week's "Idol Gives Back" event - only to laugh, say he's just kidding, and reveling it would actually be Queen Latifah. Sorry Dunkleman.
He ended the show by begging - in the tone of a middle school girl - for Lambert to sing "Whataya Want From Me?" during his performance tomorrow night.
But it was a good thing that Seacrest was acting strangely, because Tuesday's show - which celebrated Elvis Presley - was otherwise very uneventful.
Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze were the best... blah, blah.
Michael Lynche and Casey James were the next best... blah, blah.
The only thing that was the slightest bit interesting was Tim Urban's rendition of "Can't Help Falling In Love," which caused a minor rift in my household.
I thought that Urban's voice is nowhere close to being good enough to competently sing such a sweet-sounding ballad. But my wife, on the other hand, thought his version was - and I quote - "beautiful." I thought she had somehow managed to steal a swig of Seacrest's low-fat mocha latte until the judges gave their feedback and all praised Urban, who I still wholeheartedly believe is this season's weakest link. If only Anne Robinson - the former host of NBC's "The Weakest Link" - were here to put him in his place. I'm sure Simon wouldn't mind sharing his role as the "Brit with an attitude" for a night.
But as much as I hate to admit this, Urban's performance should be good enough to keep him out of the Bottom 3 - again.
My locks to be there in his absence are Aaron Kelly, Andrew Garcia, and Siobhan Magnus.
The judges all had kind things to say about Kelly's cover of "Blue Suede Shoes." But if there is anything more annoying to me than Aaron Kelly singing an Elvis song, it is Aaron Kelly singing an Elvis song while choreographing a different camera to look into for each of the famous breaks during the song's intro. "Well, it's one for the money" - Camera 1. "Two for the show" - Camera 2. "Three to get ready" - Camera 3. By the time he got to "Now go, cat go" I was nauseous... and his ridiculous performance during the remainder of the song wasn't much of a remedy.
Garcia needed to blow away America - and the judges - with his performance to stay out of the Bottom 3 this week. When I heard he was singing the traditionally up-tempo "Hound Dog," I thought he had chosen the perfect song for him to do so. But when Garcia opted to slow the song down to a boring crawl, I immediately knew he was in trouble.
I'm starting to sound like a bit of a broken record, but Magnus really has to stop starting songs in her flat lower range and then resorting to screaming the end. Even though she didn't attempt to scream that high note she hit at end of her performances during the earlier weeks, her formula is still becoming predictable. And when she sings into the camera, she stares into the lens for uncomfortable stretches of time and this creeps me out. I think Katie Stevens also had a poor performance this week, but I think Magnus was much worse.
And since the judges saved "Big Mike" last week, two of these three will be going home Wednesday night.
My picks: Kelly and Garcia. (That is if the voters have managed to learn by now what the point of the competition is).