If Jacob Lusk doesn't get eliminated this week, I'm going to trade in my television set for a bullet-proof vest and go back to Compton myself, if that's what it takes for me not to have to hear him sing anymore.
My ears can't take it anymore - neither can my windows or my wife's crystal stemware.
And Wednesday night was the worst Jacob Lusk sighting of season, because we had to witness him butcher not one, but two songs.
First he shrieked his way through both the male and female parts of "No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown ... Uh, ok.
Then he performed a shrill, obnoxious version of Nazareth's already shrill and obnoxious "Love Hurts." It was one of the most painful things ever to be broadcast on network television and both my neighbors' dogs apparently concurred.
By Sir Anthony Hopkins' disgusted reaction after Lusk's performance, I really thought - and hoped - that the man who won an Oscar playing Dr. Hannibal Lecter would grab himself a nice Chianti and put us all out of our misery.
The world is on an emotional high this week after Osama bin Laden's death. Let's keep the good times rolling and send Jacob Lusk home. And considering this is "American" Idol, I think it would be the patriotic thing to do.
Other than Lusk, I think this week's Bottom 3 will be Haley Reinhart and James Durbin.
Both contestants had fairly solid performances, Reinhart with the unreleased Lady Gaga song "You and I" and terrific cover of the classic "House of the Rising Sun" and Durbin with a great version of "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars and an overly emotional, but passable cover of "Without You" by Harry Nilsson.
But we're down to the Top 5, and given the great performances by this season's country duo of Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina this week, I had to put Durbin and Reinhart in the bottom. That said, I think they'll both be safe.
I don't think there is any reason for Reinhart to go home this week, but I would not be surprised if she does due to how hard this season's remarkably-inept judges were on her for singing the unreleased Lady Gaga song because "no one knows it."
First of all, Jimmy Iovine talked her into it.
Second of all, Sheryl Crow encouraged her because she thought Reinhart performed the song beautifully.
Third of all, Lagy Gaga personally gave Reinhart her blessing.
Fourth of all, did you hear Jacob Lusk?
Ok, I've run out of "of all's" so I will leave you with this:
If Jacob Lusk makes it to the Top 4, he will easily be the worst contestant ever to make it that high. Though it would seem somehow fitting this season.