Mary Oves
Published: Sunday, January 23, 2011
Mary Oves
Dreaming of carefree days of golf and Alex

I've been developing old lady habits lately.

I wear sweatpants all weekend. No makeup. I consider four movies and popcorn while sitting on my couch the perfect Saturday night. I take great joy in making roast chicken and mashed potatoes for my sons. I'm forever searching for the perfect pan fried pork chop recipe. I wear moisturizer to bed, and have a bottle of water near my bed to ward off dehydration.

I roll my eyes at my brash young students when they tell me their weekend exploits. "Fine fine, but were you safe?" I ask them. "Did you wear your seatbelt?" I end every Friday class with "Don't text and drive!"

Then it's their turn to roll their eyes at me.

But I don't care. Because at 44 years of age, I have earned the right to preach. And to be boring.

Lately I have been watching "Jeopardy" at 7 p.m., followed by "Seinfeld." I am careful to take my dog for his long walk at 6 p.m., so I can be ready for Alex. Isn't that the first sign of Old Lady-Dom, when you schedule your whole day around a game show?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

But maybe I should fear not. My sons' schedules keep me hopping in circles. So I'm unable to get into too much of a fuddy duddy routine.

But when they're gone? I think it's inevitable. So I have allowed myself the luxury to imagine a day in my life when I am an old lady. I think it will go something like this. (Note: the weather will be nice in this simulation. I can't imagine spending winters in Ocean City when I am old. I like golfing and tennis too much.)

4:00 a.m.: Get up and use the lavatory. Yes, really, I am a morning person.

4:01: Brush my teeth, put on my comfy sweatpants.

4:05: Coffee.

4:30: Walk dog if have one, but doubt it: after Mojo is gone, there will be no replacing him.

5:00: Read papers. For hours. Inky, NY Times, Daily News. Heaven.

7:00: Breakfast of cereal and fresh fruit.

8:00: Walk boardwalk (or beach, mountain trail, not sure where I will be)

9:30: After husband goes golfing with men's league, I go to library or book store. Probably latter. Libraries don't allow coffee. More coffee.

11:00: Shop for dinner. Heart healthy ingredients. Light lunch.

Noon: Get corny golf outfit on. Meet girls for women's golf league.

About 1:00: Yell at husband for making fun of my swing on the 8th tee.

3:00: Get done golf round. Drinks and snacks.

4:00: So glad to be home. Plan to go to early bird special with hub.

6:00: Home. Cup of tea or glass of wine, watch evening news.

7:00: Hubby. Alex. Jeopardy.

8:00: Time for bed. 4:00 a.m. comes around early.

Sounds nice. Unless I'm on a cruise, or on a horse, or on my bike, this sounds really really nice


Join Our momsJerseyShore Forum

We want to hear from you!
Do you have tips, questions or suggestions for other Jersey Shore moms and dads?
Join our momsJerseyShore forum today and start up a discussion. It's 100% FREE to join.
Already a member? Access the forum here and see what other members are talking about.