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Mary Oves
Published: Thursday, January 27, 2011
Mary Oves
Reading the news on a snowy morn

Snow day.

But I'm not going to whine about Khione, the goddess of snow, playing Russian roulette with my summer vacation. It's played out, and I believe deeply in the Serenity Prayer. I wear it on a dogtag around my neck.

It's morning, I have a cup of Kona coffee, and my sons continue to sleep soundly. I walked my dog, who completed a very satisfying morning constitutional but who continues to whine, because snow is his favorite thing besides pancakes. I'm ignoring him, and have some time to read the papers.

Representative Dennis Kucinich from Ohio is suing a Washington cafeteria for harboring "dangerous substances, namely an olive pit," in a wrap he bought from the cafeteria. He has sustained serious dental damage from the hidden pit, and wants $150,000 in damages.

Man, that is one gnarly pit. What did it have, fangs?

Last week Bolivians chewed coca in protest in front of the U.S. Embassy. Coca is the ingredient that gives cocaine its cache, and Bolivians chew it to keep hunger pangs at bay and to help altitude sickness. Banning coca in Bolivia? That would be like banning caffeine in the United States. Someone tries to tell me I can't have my morning coffee, I'll chew coffee beans in front of Starbucks.

Will Morey, whose family owns Morey's Piers in Wildwood, is running for Cape May County freeholder. What is the connection between amusement park owners and politics? (Jay Gillian, owner of Gillian's Amusements, is mayor of Ocean City) The thrill of politics is like a roller coaster ride? Ok, so they're both rich, but that CAN'T be the reason. I'm not that cynical yet.

Headline: "BYOB plans for O.C. likely to be DOA." Ah, I love the smell of fresh acronyms in the morning. Let me translate: Ocean City will not be allowing alcohol sales in restaurants.

Gasp! OMG! I really really really thought it was gonna pass this time!

Veiled sarcasm.

Gabrielle Giffords is making great progress in her therapy. She might even get her feeding tube taken out soon. Excuse this Soccer Mom-ism, but "You go, girl!"

Gabby rocks.

All these attacks on teacher tenure, on public schools, on vouchers and charter schools? I will simply say this: I have been a teacher for 22 years, and I love it. But I would never, in this climate, encourage my children to be teachers. Never. No respect. No money. And now, no protection? No way. And it makes me sad.

A survey has revealed that 14 percent of people would ditch their mate for a pet.

Yikes.

The National Weather Bureau has reported that it is going to be cold this week. Because it's winter. And in the winter, the predominant weather is cold. So you crazy people who sit on the beach in beach chairs in this weather? It doesn't show you're a beach lover. It shows that you're a little wacky.

Oh, it is reported that the Oves family has a wrestling free weekend coming up, therefore are going skiing. But a scheduled school dance wreaks havoc with their plans, and may prevent them from leaving on Friday night. Departure more likely Saturday morning.

That's it for breaking news.

Oh, I am really annoyed about this snow day. It's bright and sunny out, and now my last school day is June 15, instead of 13. Burns me up!

Sorry, I thought I was over it.



 

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