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The news story bewildered Sue Schilling, a Brigantine city councilwoman and adoptive mother.

A woman in Atlantic City had sued the state for $1 million for allegedly revealing her identity to the daughter she surrendered for adoption 30 years ago.

Schilling is a proponent of unconditional birth certificate access for adopted New Jersey residents, which would include the name of the birth parents. However, the state has no such provision now, so Schilling could not believe that the family information could have slipped through without mutual consent.

"I consider us very lucky that we were able to get so much" medical history from her daughter's birth relatives, Schilling said. "I have no clue how this thing that's going on now reached that point."

And as a parent who witnessed her daughter's "very positive" reconnection with her birth parents, she could not relate to the plaintiff's anguish.

The plaintiff's attorney, Matthew Weisberg, said he could not believe how much attention the case attracted after the lawsuit was filed in U.S. District Court on June 18. He primarily fields cases of individual and consumer rights, but he never handled what he called "an adoption civil-rights case" before.

"Since then, I have received a lot of e-mails and now understand that it's a very polar issue," Weisberg said.

Though even supporters of privacy for birth parents acknowledge that adoption regulations are trending more toward openness, the adoptee-rights lobby Bastard Nation commends only six of the 50 states for granting adoptees unrestricted access to their birth certificates and medical records.

New Jersey is not among them.

"I'm just really puzzled by the whole story because I know people from New Jersey who have tried for years and years to get information and can't get anywhere," said Marley Greiner, Bastard Nation's executive chair.

Various state legislators have tried for years to pass bill that increase adoptees' access to their records.

A measure sponsored by Sen. Loretta Weinberg, D-Bergen, which would provide adoptees' their medical history without revealing their parents' names, is lodged in committee. She said Sunday she hopes for it to get attention in the fall after larger issues such as the budget fracas have subsided.

Asked why the issue has not gotten more traction in the past, the senator replied, "Issues involving families are always a challenge. There are usually emotional feelings surrounding them."

Bastard Nation and other adoptee-rights lobbies have fought compromise measures such as Weinberg's. The National Council for Adoption is pro-privacy but recognizes the changing landscape.

"In today's practice, most adoptions have some kind of openness component, so there's already some kind of relationship established," said council Vice President Chuck Johnson, who is both an adopted son and an adoptive father.

"I understand the importance of health background. ... But I do think an injustice was done" to Weisberg's client, Johnson said.

More than 30 years ago, the plaintiff - whose name The Press of Atlantic City is withholding-gave birth to a baby girl conceived by rape, according to the lawsuit. She yielded the child to adoption and wanted no further contact with her, an arrangement she assumed the state would preserve.

The woman did not respond in August when the state informed her that someone who had been adopted sought information about her. Her purported daughter got her name and address anyway, and visited the plaintiff's Atlantic City home in December.

The plaintiff became upset and is suing on the basis of privacy violation and emotional distress, according to the lawsuit.

"This woman had a responsibility. If she did not want this information released, she should have replied to that letter. Ethically, she should have," Greiner said.

The state Attorney General's Office has not commented on how DYFS handled that case.

Schilling said her adopted daughter always wanted information on her birth parents.

In that case, the agency's letter to the birth father was promptly met with a positive response, and the exchange of medical history helped Schilling's daughter when she gave birth to her own daughter.

Weisberg expects the state to pursue dismissal of his client's lawsuit and for the case to proceed further, perhaps with a hearing in three months.

The lawyer did not know how long the meeting between his client and her daughter lasted. But he is all but certain no second meeting was arranged.

"There's always exceptions and perhaps extenuating circumstances, nothing is ever 100 percent and every case would be different," Schilling said. Though she still sees more positives than negatives in opening up adoption records, "this one is obviously very unfortunate."

ON THE WEB

New Jersey Bill S2263:

www.njleg.state.nj.us/2008/Bills/S2500/2263_I1.HTM

National Council for Adoption:

www.adoptioncouncil.org

Bastard Nation:

www.bastards.org

E-mail Eric Scott Campbell:

ECampbell@pressofac.com

7 comments:

• MrMister (16) posts 3:24 pm

  Romany Reunited you hit the nail on the head the reason is so birth parents don't come looking for the kids not the other way around. I hope you reunion was as nice as mine. I am involved with Jane, Pam and the rest of the NJCARE adoption folk from North Jersey they hepled me with my reunion. Last time I was up in Trenton I met DMC Darryl McDaniels you never know who is an adoptee.

• Romany_Reunited (2) posts 5:02 pm

  New Jersey law states that adoption records and original birth certificates are sealed upon adoption, not upon relinquishment. The relinquished (but not adopted) child has every right to his/her own original birth certificate under State Law. So no one can argue that their identities are kept secret merely because they relinquished a child. As MrMister pointed out, the State can and does falsify the date and place of birth - this is to "protect" the adoptive family from the birth relatives, not the other way around. That's why the birth mother's name can routinely be found in the adoption records GIVEN to the adoptive parents. Interestingly, the State also seals the birth records in step-parent adoptions (which constitute about half of all adoptions). What could be the reason for that if sealed records are all about "protecting the identity of the birth mother". As for the suggestion that birth parents be required to submit family medical history to a state-run database - What should the state do if the birth parents don't comply? Who would responsible for contacting the birth parents if a request came in for family medical history? Who would be responsible for reporting the birth parent's death to this database? Sounds to me like a bigger invasion of privacy than restoring an adult adoptee's access to his/her OWN birth certificate. The term "Right to Privacy" is usually reserved for the right of a person to be "free from government interference" which is what we have here - the state government interfering in the adoptee's right to knowledge of their own birth, heritage, family history and something everyone else can take for granted - the names of his/her parents.

• MrMister (16) posts 10:00 am

  Yo wind a cup please show me the law you are talking about. First your data base idea is no good because the dates on adoption papers are changed making it impossible to make a match. Next question are you a part of the adoption TRIAD if not sit your JACKASS on the sidelines because you have no idea what your talking about. Anyone can go to the court look up the docket and find his or her birth name see......thats the law the records are there for the pickin. You ask why then are their so many people not able to find this info.........LIES.....DOB's are changed. My birth cert. is stamped BA STERD my DOB is not my real one. So should I sue the state for calling me a b$%&*(* that could net me a couple million. What is the money all about did she sue the rapeist because I'm sure if that happened it was worse the meeting your own flesh and blood!!!!!!

• yowindacup (4) posts 7:16 pm

  MrMister, Your response was obviously heartfelt and quite emotional, but the fact remains the law in New Jersey was violated when her info was released to the child. I never said I agreed with the law, but our opinion of the law is immaterial. People certainly have a right to know their family medical history, but people also have a right to privacy. I am not sure that people have a right to meet or confront their birth parents. There is an easy way to reconcile the rights of both parties--maintain a "blinded" database of family medical history to which birth parents are required to update periodically or upon request. It's not perfect, and I'm sure there will be gaps or plenty of opportunities for the government to screw it up, but in most cases it should provide a means for adoptees to get information to which they have a right while maintaining the right of privacy for birth parents if they wish to remain anonymous. Also, siblings are not the only people who are possible matches for marrow transplants. The liklihood is higher than finding an unrelated match, but not the absolute. Emotional arguments are compelling, but in matters of the law, only facts prevail. Along those lines, it is incredibly crass to make judgements on the veracity of this woman's history of being raped. Without the facts you cannot make any judgement, and trying to do so only makes you appear like a jackass.

• MrMister (16) posts 10:22 am

  Yo wind a cup......WRONG ANSWER........Nowhere and I mean NOWHERE on ANY adoption papers does it say ANYONES identity will be hidden. LIES and SECRETS I have my adoption papers and my birth mothers name is on them each time she had to sign them. I have spoken to hundreds of adoptees, birth mothers and adoptive parents this rape story is one of many the agencys told the mothers to tell people so the mother could save face. My own mother told people that I died at birth ( guess what I'm alive ) that was the story she was told to tell people. I met her ( thats the best story of my life ) and she never wanted to give me away but back in 1962 if you were not married or had a parent sign for you you couldn't get an apartment. WOW how things have changed for the better. I also met my fathers best friend ( my birth father died in 1989 ) who said " we were told you died at birth". I was adopted out of a place called Childrens Aid in Orange New Jersey a protestant organazation my adoptive parents lied and said they were protestant even going to Abesecon First Baptist while the adoptions were being finalized. This took years because my little sister was another secret being a foster child comming to our home at 9 months old. After the smoke cleared my mother the good catholic that she was made all four of us go to catholic church. My birth mother was promised I would go to a good protestant family.........promised not a law not a contract just a promise. LIES and SECRETS I was once at an adoption search group were I met a birth mother that was raped had the child gave him { not it } up for adoption. Years later he contacted her with open arms she met this boy now turned into a young man. Because in life some things are hard on the emotions but we have to do them, its the right thing to do. Innocent of any crime just another victim in a tragic circumstance. So what we are saying to him this nice young man is that the equality of his rights are not that of the mothers. Now on to this mother was a rape investigation done was their a conviction, was there a rape or was that what she told people because back then having sex before you got the ring was taboo. How does $1,000,000 come into play what is that all about????? LIES and SECRETS Here is some real food for your brain.....one of the BIG REASONS for birth records not being open is the FACT that some kids were born to catholic nuns fathered by well......fathers and the catholics now are the biggest lobby for keeping the records sealed. BIG GIANT LIES and SECRETS That is a FACT go to any meeting at the state house about adoption and the catholics are out in force. Trying to uphold the LIES and SECRETS. If you want a good look into adoption and the importance of knowing your past watch A&E's 911 Toxic Dust and hear the story of an adoptee that needed something only a sibling can give a bone marrow transplant. Lucky for him he got it and the tears of JOY outweigh the tears of pain.

• todfiat (0) posts 9:34 am

  Firstly, I highly doubt there is any police report or any other agency or hospital report about a "rape" by which the kid was conceived. The daughter could then seek out the father, rapist or not, if she felt it necessary. But there's no mention of that. Some womyn are very skilled at crying "rape" - or "child abuse" - for the immediate deference it gins up from the law enforcement and social services types. Secondly, all the woman had to do was to respond to the letter, and prevented or otherwise controlled the meeting with the unwanted offspring. Why was that so difficult? It sure calls her credibility into account. Protect your privacy? Protect is a verb. Respond is a verb. She shot herself in the foot, and now wants to cash out - KA-CHING! At least the daughter may now learn if she is at risk for breast cancer or Alzheimers or other inherited diseases. Isn't that a "basic human right" in Obama's lengthy catalog of same?

• yowindacup (4) posts 12:44 am

  Sorry Greiner, but you are dead wrong. She had an explicit expectation that her privacy would be protected, and in fact it is mandated by law. She has no moral or ethical obligation to the adopted child, and many would argue she fulfilled her moral obligation by not aborting her. She gave the child life and then wanted to move on with her own life because undoubtedly the circumstances were more than she could withstand. Shame on you to blame the victim in this case. Absolutely disgusting...

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